Open Adoption

Open adoption is a term referring to the exchange of identifying information between biological and adoptive parents. To varying degrees, open adoption also describes after adoption contact between the child, biological and adoptive parents. It is estimated that today approximately 95% of U.S. adoptions have some degree of openness.

Prior to and during the first several decades of the 20th century, adopted children were caste in a negative light as they were typically born to unmarried women and labeled illegitimate. Child Welfare advocates believed that secrecy would protect adopted children from public embarrassment as well as prevent kinship relatives from interfering with adoptive families. For the protection of the child and to ease the transition for the adoptive family, adoption became shrouded in secrecy. Most states legally mandated that adoption records be kept confidential and birth certificates be sealed.

Prior to the 1970’s in the U.S., there was rarely any contact between biological and adoptive parents. They were not told one another’s names and the biological mother generally put her baby in the custody of an agency, which selected the adoptive parents. Often an unmarried woman lived in a special maternity home, out of sight, until the baby was born. Adopters preferred anonymity and the opportunity it gave them to present the baby as their own. Relatives of unwed mothers favored confidentiality as it gave the women a second chance to lead normal lives and perhaps go on to marry.

The last few decades of the 20th century brought many changes in the world of adoption as laws were passed increasing the rights of the unwed father and adding protections for adoptive children. In 1998, Oregon voters passed a law allowing adult adoptees access to their original birth certificates. By this time there had been a real turning point in cultural attitudes about adoption and greater acceptance of a child’s desire to learn about his birth parents and genealogy. The 21st century brings greater diversity in the racial and ethnic background of adopted children as well as great changes in the race and marital make up of adoptive parents. International adoptions from Asia tripled in the early 2000’s. Statistics show a great upward trend of multiracial families and same sex couples adopting. As adoption shed its negative stigma the child social welfare experts began to acknowledge the many positive benefits of open adoption.

Openness is defined broadly and the amount of information shared and contact agreed upon varies from family to family. Openness and contact can be fluid over time. Often it begins with the initial contact when a birth mother selects the adoptive family by viewing the parent profile online through a website or social media. Her selection leads to actual contact such as a phone call, emailing or texting. Sometimes the adoptive parent(s) will visit the biological parent(s) prior to the birth of the baby and get to know one another in person. More typical is a first meeting at the hospital, after the baby is born. All of this contact is a degree of openness and may in fact, be the only points of contact in the relationship. A birth mother has the right to determine how much or how little she wishes to remain in contact with the adoptive child and his adoptive parents. If her wishes are not aligned with the expectations of the adoptive parents they may want to consider pursuing a different adoption plan with someone else. While it is important to think about and discuss openness prior to the birth of the baby, sometimes it becomes necessary to be fluid about arrangements after the baby is born.

Post adoption contact may be memorialized in a legally signed contract between the parties, or can simply be an oral understanding. After the baby is adopted, communication may include sending updates and pictures periodically via email or text. If gifts or letters are to be exchanged, a third party such as an attorney or agency can be used to help maintain privacy. Post adoption contact might include in person visits at specified intervals.

There are multiple studies on how openness in adoption is positive for all involved. Birth parents may feel a sense of empowerment and control in being able to select the adoptive family. A birth mother may feel less fear and uncertainty about the welfare of her child if she continues to receive updates and pictures. A positive relationship with the adoptive family can significantly help a birth mother when she is dealing with grief and mourning and possibly a degree of guilt over her decision. Adoptive parents who establish a relationship with the biological parents should have a greater knowledge of their child’s genetic and medical history and more personal information. This information can be shared with their child as she grows and begins to ask questions. Lastly and of vast importance is the sense of identity and self-confidence adoptive children say develops from knowing about their birth families and the relief that comes from understanding their history as opposed to living with feelings of loss and abandonment. Additionally, the whole issue of an adoptive child and his parents going through the need to search for answers is often eliminated and with it, the stress of what they may find.

In the end, as with all relationships, communication is key. The more everyone understands each other’s wishes and expectations the greater the chance that the journey will be a successful one for all.